She started out in a see-through baby-blue lounge gown with fur trimmings, before ending up in a sparkling bubble bath. Gia Genevieve, a Playboy Cover Girl and blonde bombshell very reminiscent of Marilyn Monroe, was next up. The next act was Texan Ginger Valentine, who was already scantily clad to begin with, and, fitting her stage name, performed a new version of Dita’s “My Heart belongs to Daddy” act, in which she struck a series of pin-up poses with some impressive splits inside a giant heart-shaped iron scaffold while taking off her heels and few garments off until she was left wearing nothing but sparkly heart-shaped nipple pasties.Īussie Zelia Rose was the next act, and is perhaps the only star of the evening who really deserves to be called a burlesque dancer -the crowd was riotous watching her energetic choreography, and I for one appreciated that the show was already starting to be more diverse in skin and body types, with a performer of African-Spanish descent and almost no boobs to speak of. With her porcelain skin, blood-red lips and ebony hair she perfectly embodies both Old Hollywood and pin-up glamour, and despite the big audience, she has a way to sweep the crowd with such an inviting and defiant look that will draw you in and make you feel just how empowering the act of standing on that stage is. It’s immediately clear why Dita is considered the queen of the modern burlesque revival, and why it’s so much more than a striptease. Without much further ado, the curtain opened on Dita’s first act, a variation of her iconic Martini Glass routine in a bubbly Champagne Glass -I would’ve assumed that this would be the act for the grand finale as it’s her signature one, as well as wet and rather sticky! She stood in a full-length, long-sleeved gown studded with Swarovski crystals so sparkly that it almost hurt to look at her, flanked by her “Vontourage”, Elio Martinez from Puerto Rico and Alex Palinski from Poland, who joined her in all her acts, and whose sole purpose it was to look dapper and receive the offerings of her discarded garments. In the case of an emergency, find your nearest lesbian and hold on tight, they always know what to do“. If things got too hot, “ oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling -ladies, please help your husbands and boyfriends first Gays-please help the Straights Lesbians-y’all are in charge of everything. He said that this was a safe place where “ gawking, gaping, ogling, and objectifying” was allowed and encouraged, as well as “ hooting, hollering, gasping, whistling and catcalling“. This opening monologue was by far my favorite of the night, he did a great job getting the audience worked up. He asked us if we were ready to have a “ sexy, seductive, sultry, sizzling good time“, and punctuated his speech by opening a fan with “ YASSS” written on it (he had a different one for every interlude, with different phrases, and they got bigger every time!). We were led through the evening my Jonny McGovern, a flamboyant bear with a lusciously deep voice and a giant diamond flower brooch attached to the lapel of his tux, which “ Dita picked from her own garden“, who welcomed all “ ladies and gentlemen, and everyone in between, whatever your gender fluidity requires“. I went in mostly blind, not knowing how the show would be structured or even how many different acts she had brought along, and I was surprised by how hilarious a lot of it was. So when her first ever European tour of her show The Art of the Teese was announced, I just had to treat myself to a ticket! I’ve been familiar with Dita von Teese since her Marilyn Manson days, but it’s only after attending a burlesque show at the iconic Parisian Crazy Horse a couple of years ago that I discovered that it’s an art form that delights both the feminist and bisexual in me, and that I started paying attention to her career for her own sake, and admiring her for single-handedly reviving an almost dead art.
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